most embarrassing moment of my 24 year existence

i know i've been remiss in my blogging and some people have given up on me, but i think this makes up for my lapse in dutiful posting...

We’re sitting in house group (a bible study group for 20s -30) catching up on the current events of our lives and as everyone knows I’ve been in America this past week. Gavin asks me how it was and after the preliminary "it was really good", "the wedding was beautiful", etc..., in my excitement I begin to tell him about the day that jenn’s brother, Michael, took us out shooting. Now Carl and Rach had already heard this story on the trip back from the airport, but the rest hadn't and for those of you that don’t know it, I’ll tell it like I did at house group.

I begin by telling Gav what an awesome time we had and that Jenn’s brother is in the coast guard and in charge of something to do with guns--teaching people how to use them, clean them, fix them, etc. So he took us out one day to shoot and we got to try our hand at a 45, a semi-automatic, and a shotgun. And I was good. I even managed to hit the clay pigeon-like things! (my excitement building as i tell the story) At this point one of the other girls in the group asks, “What do they need guns for in the coast guard?!” interrupting the flow of my story. So Carl inputs with, “they use them to chase away drug smugglers” and I interject in front of the two new guests to our house group with, “No, they shoot at Russians!” (*as I’ve been informed by Michael)

As the words leave my mouth my heart stops and my breathe catches as I see Carl’s head snap up and eyes bug out, Rachael’s head swing my way, and Roman’s eyes (he’s one of the new guys) meet mine, and in that fraction of a second I die. Wishing the floor would open and swallow me up, not having a clue how to fumble for a recovery I wonder just how badly I’ve offended the Ukrainian I met only moments before.

And for what seemed like years I sat staring across the room at Carl with my mouth hanging open grasping at something to say, debating whether in saying anything I’ll just dig myself deeper into the pit I’ve just created, and all the while panicking over what the odds are of Roman having a brother who's died of the coast of alaska.

I stumbled with, “Jenn’s grandmother…Jenn’s grandmother wanted to come shooting with us…She was shooting the semi from the hip…” and luckily Carl and Gavin carried it on from there, my hope lying in the distracting humor of the grandma shooting bit or for the whole thing being lost in translation.

Sitting with a heated face through the rest of the evening I contemplate the pros and cons of apologizing, defending my country, or justifying it by saying they would have done the same. In the end I said nothing at all except “nice to meet you” as he walked out the door… That was after inviting him to a 4th of July party to celebrate America’s independence from the Brits! At the end of the day I feel confident in knowing I’ve done my part in perpetuating the stereotype of the stupid oblivious American.

Thank God for grace.

And another aspect of humor in all this is that it happened literally hours after telling Jon that i had never really experience any significant embarrassing moments. go figure.

P.S. As for the wedding, it really was great and beautiful. and i will hopefully soon be able to post some pictures. until then, let my experience be a lesson for you all...thinking before speaking is probably a good thing.

*as far as being informed by Michael, i mean that this is what i heard and what came out of my mouth, but not necessarily an accurate representation of what Michael said!